Service

Well life, although seems pretty normal to me here now, is by no way "normal" by an american standard. Its really kinda nuts what we do here in peace corps. They just kinda throw us into a city and say "well go to work", There is no real direction of what we are supposed to be doing, and it all depends on what the community wants. So the people I work with will generally just ask me if I know anything about such and such a subject, and even if I dont know too much, I will say yes. Then I go to work researching the subject and figure out a way to teach the subject in my broken spanish. We rely a lot on dynamics and games to teach. Its actually kinda funny, but it also makes us a lot less threatening while still getting our point across. It is just really hard to do what we do because we kinda just walk into organizations and schools who dont really "need" us but they are not going to say no to help, and we have to create a job for ourselves. For instance, it was totally my idea to make a school garden, I didnt really know anything about gardening beforehand, but I pretend I do. A lot of my job is just trying to get the educators and other people I work with to improve quality, be more dynamic, and more involved in their teaching and their community. It doesnt really matter where I work, or for that matter how often I am working, so at times it is really hard to stay motivated, other times it is really hard to get frustrated with the people because they are happy with the way things are. It is also hard to tell if the work you are doing is actually doing anything for anyone, or if you are just wasting your time. I think a lot of people also dont take me as serious as they would if I were speaking perfectly. I think sometimes they think Im stupid or I dont know what Im talking about, just because I cant say it perfectly in spanish. Then there are still other people who just have hidden resentments for the USA and its people. They don't really believe that the only reason im there is to work with them to improve the community. But on the other hand there are some really great things. Some people actually are motivated to work with you and improve their community. Some people understand where you are coming from and are willing to help and support you wherever they can. You meet some of the greatest, most interesting, and generous people during your service. You meet people and have experiences that you will never forget. You are basically forced to grow a lot as a person, and it makes you gain patience, understanding, and humility. It also makes you thankful for everything you have, and helps you understand yourself better. So, although there are days that you just want to stay in bed, and forget all the things that your are working so hard to do, it is worth it, and its what I signed up for. I was hoping that the experience would make me a better person, and I already think I have accomplished that, at least to some small degree. And although we all want to create some project that helps a whole population, for generations to come, as long I am making the difference in the life of at least one person down here, it is worth it right? Its a really crazy thing that we do, but I do believe that it is something that is worth doing.